It's 3am in the morning and I've just got done putting a load of laundry in the washer and cleaning and organizing under the sink. Aparrently I've completly lost my mind...since those with one month old babies tend to like their sleep. Lack of sleep has been a constant battle of mine for years (scratch that...my mom reminds me I never slept as a child...so I suppose it is actually my normal), so I now tend to embrace this time and get things done. Mike enjoys waking up to a clean house and who can blame him...it's like a clean house fairy...she turns dirty piles into clean baskets of folded laundry.....dusts the living room......baby bottles become washed and filled for the next day. Wow....sign me up! Okay...this is not what I intended to write about (maybe I should rethink adding blogging to the night shift of things I can accomplish).
Thruthfully I intended to write about the amazing April that followed my sucky March. Waiting in adoption is hard. It was hard the first time but it was sooo much more difficult asking to be shown for situations and then just waiting. Last time we had the luxury of "not knowing" each time...which is a blessing. This time around we had to ask to be shown for 90% of the situations we were presented to. I tend to be slightly obessive compulsive with things (and that too I get honestly...dad), and I would check the sites mutliple times a day. Then I would asked to be submitted and then we would wait. In the mean time I would drive EVERYONE crazy with the updates...because I was sooo consumed. Then it happened...we found out a birthmother had chosen us. I was so excited. We had the chance to speak with her on the phone....and then....things started to unfold. I'm not sure if it was a full out scam....but it was pretty close. I spent an entire day on the phone with agencies and attorneys, doing research to find out what really was the truth. In the end we turned down the match. I truly felt this individual was pregnant and probably was going to place her baby for adoptoin...but it was too unethical for me to be involved. Had she been due in a few weeks maybe we would have stuck it out...but her due date was changing...so who knows how long we would have been waiting.
After that I was pretty down and contemplated stopping the process all together. I tend to consider myself a honest and ethical person. It was difficult to see the world in a way that was dishonest and unethical. I know this is reality....but it hit too close to home this time. I decided to stick with our original plan and wait for the agencies we signed up to find us match. (The above "match" was through a facilitator).
But...as you know...I am obsessive...and continuted to check the websites. I came across a situation which was posted on a website by an agency. Well....you can guess where this is going. The situation was posted on a Sunday regarding a baby that was due in another state that coming Wednesday. It was now Monday. I sent an email with our profile. In a few hours the social worker returned my email asking for our homestudy which I quickly sent. I then told Mike I was submitting for the situation. The SW felt we were a good option for this situation and told us she would speak with us later. By the afternoon she felt we would be choosen and that she would call us after meeting with the family. I was slightly confused since she didnt meet witht the family yet but just decided to wait it out. The evening passed and we finally surrendered to bed thinking we were not chosen. It was 10:30pm when the phone rang....an out of state cell phone. Holy crap! It was the social worker telling us that they would like us to parent their baby! I was pretty speechless on the phone. Here we sit across the country with nothing ready for a baby boy ( we had only been waiting for 1 month) and we had to fly across the country in less than 48 hours...to hold our son. What?!?!
Needless to say little sleep was had that night. We were busy booking flights and hotels, filling out paperwork, packing. Then there was my frantic attempt to find everything gender neutral for the baby out of Leah's old clothes...and then wash all of it. It is comical (now) to think about me going through plastic bins in the basement at 2am in the morning...especially since I felt the need to do it at warp speed. There still maybe opened bins with clothes spilling out right now...who knows...I've never gone back to look! We both had to go to work in the morning since no one knew this was happening and we had to tie up lose ends as we would be away for a few weeks. By 6am Wednesday morning we were at the airport and ready to board the plane. It was a quick 30 or so hours ..... highly stressed and emotional. We attempted to support each other as best we could but there were a few points when we each were struggling. This was such a blessing but we were taking a risk. We didn't know anyone who had used this agency and we had never spoke with them until the day we were chosen. We had no proof of pregnancy...only a hand typed one page word document on the birth family. Overall the financial risk was null...since the agency does not collect funds until after placement and consent (was is irrevocable in this state). Sometimes you just know it is going to be ok. This time...I just knew it was going to be ok.
Since this post is getting long...I will write soon about our arrival in another state and his birth.
I know I am partial but aren't these two the cutest! I just got tears looking at their precious faces and smiles. Now that's why I want to stay at home.
