Blogging for Books!!

I recently signed up for Blogging for Books which provides free books to review!! I was so excited and today received the first book in the mail: Little Star by Anothony DeStefano with illustration by Mark Elliott. This story reminds us of the true meaning of Christmas and is a good way to teach children this true meaning. The author also does a good job at including simple messages such as not ignoring others and not giving up on people. In the end, the author brings the story together by explaining why the star is put on the top of the tree....a wonderful tradition that many kid do not know the true meaning behind! Mark Elliott has beautiful illustrations which kept my daughters attention. This will surely become a story which will be read many more years at Christmas!

I'm off to select my next book..how exciting is that!! Yeah!!

Christmas Week

This past weekend we were able to celebrate Christmas with my brother and his family. We celebrated by opening gifts saturday afternoon after the kids took naps....which was followed by a jaunt in the snow. This was Leahs first time playing in the snow. Last year she was too little..and the snow was too high. She had loads of fun...and didn't seem to mind the cold! We all enjoyed spending time together and alas the weekend flew by without a blink of the eye. Tomorrow is my last 1/2 day of work before a 11 day stretch off at Christmas. These are the days when working in academia truly pays off. Of course I will checking my email and voice mail and making sure my students are all geared up for their fieldwork placements...but I am thankful I can do that at home in pajamas!

On the adoption front we are in the process of getting our homestudy started and I have begun filling out the 7 applications for all the agencies we are working with. We have taken a much different route this time...and it entails a lot more paperwork...but hopefully a shorter wait. I am so excited to find out who this next addition to the family is....but am also cherishing the time with Leah as an only child. She is so gentle and sharing with other children....I think she will make a perfect big sister. Hopefully her demeanor won't change too much as she ages and her will becomes stronger.

So...here they are...the long awaited pictures from this weekend!


Dad...I'm not so sure I know what's going on?

Forget the sled Tanner....lets go!

My brother trying to cheese his way into the picture!

Hmm..how did I get here?

All of us minus my mom who stayed nice and toasting inside.

Hey...dont forget me!

Once again..not to sure...

Okay...I get this...rip off the paper...
(what you dont see is her trying to put the paper back on the box!)

I'm hoping for socks....yep...I was right!

Merry Christmas Everyone!
Enjoy this blessed season!

So Long ... But Not Goodbye

Yes....it has been soooo long since I posted. I haven't officially left blogger land, despite that it seems I have. Instead I stalk everyone else's blog. Craft blogs, home decor blogs, adoption blogs...I am guilty of reading all of them. Then I never have time to post because they give me ideas of projects and agencies...oh my. In truth this blog only partially functioned as I thought anyways. When I began blogging I had no idea the extent of the blogging world. At the time, I started the blog to keep everyone up to date on our adoption journey. Which I did...but then I would post about all sorts of things. And in the end....there were more things I wanted to blog about...but never found the time. Now here I sit ( in the wee hours of the morning)...and I ponder what I want to do with this blog. But first....let me show you a few of the things I have missed blogging about in the past few months.

What a cutie...already learning to pose and look good!

She turned one on Oct 20, 2009! We had a BIG party....with LOTS of people. The theme was Ladybugs....she even got a ladybug pillowpet. It was nice....but kinda big and crazy. We dubbed it a finalization party as well...but unfortunately still had not finalized by then.

She got hives from the red icing...splendid!

She was a pumkin for Halloween. We went to Nana and Papas where she enjoyed watching all the Big kids...and raiding there candy basket! On Halloween night we trick-o-treated to 4 houses on the cul-de-sac and that was enough for both of us!


She loves taking all her books off the shelve! What fun!

As you can see....we have been busy! We also finalized her adoption in November so I will write another post about that event. Now...where do I go from here with the blog. Well...our big announcement is that we submitted the paperwork for adoption #2 this week!! So....I think we need a new name to this blog....a new layout...and I need to get motivated again to keep track of this second process. I like that I have documented the process....the memories...the emotions. I like how someday they will get to read this unedited...when they are old enough. So thats that...I will continue..hopefully more often...as we begin the next journey towards becoming a family of four!!

Shutterfly Christmas Cards

I couldn't resist Shutterfly's offer of 50 free Christmas cards. I have used their site since our little one was born and some of my family enjoy browsing the albums of the littlest member of the family. This year I am looking forward to photo Christmas Cards.....check out these ones(just clink on the card to link directly to their site):

How sweet is this simple card!

Another simple card....the innocence of childhood and the magic of the season!

This one pulls on the heart strings of every adoptive parent.....I think I will be ordering this card!!

Check it out today! If you are looking for an easy to use site to share your photos I highly recommend them. I always buy my prints there also and can't find it any easier to upload, order and wait for them in the mail. No running around to stores and hassling with the photo center machine. The also have truly neat gifts..photo mugs....books....posters...calendars....these are only a few of the products I have bought from them. Luv, Luv, Luv, their site!! Now go...check them out!

A long and quick month!

The last thing I need to be doing right now is writing a blog post. That being said I will type quickly so someday I can remember this part of my life. This first month at my job has been rewarding, stressful ( my husband will vouch for this, poor guy), challenging and exciting. In all....I feel like this is where I'm supposed to be...and for once...I find myself thinking about long term plans. I love working with the college students, I love teaching, I find the challenge a right fit for me. On the flip side, I hate mod classes, preparing copious amounts of lecture notes in a short time period and the disorganization which was left for me to fix. The nice thing about the "hate" list is that within a short time these things will be fixed and by next year it should be smooth sailing. I have met some awesome individuals who will support my growth as an Occupational Therapist, as a co-worker, as a fieldwork coordinator and as a person....and all of those roles are very exciting to me.

In the mean time, Mike needed toe surgery while getting a cold...and then Leah developed a cold/virus. I seemed to escape the cold/virus but have been dragging around some sort of bug/allergy/dizziness which will strike at random times but in all leave me alone. So...total meltdown occurred on a three prong level which left each of us less desirable as the days went on. Obviously, things are starting to look up and we are now at least able to interact with others in a reasonably nice manner. I think the outside world is quite happy that the sickness is leaving the house.

Leah is cruising everywhere and is starting to stand without holding onto anything. Usually this only occurs when she is distracted by some toy or object which she isn't supposed to have. Because yes....she finds a way of getting everything she isn't supposed to...despite full blown childproof efforts from her "dumber and dumber" supervisors. But alas, as she is sitting there playing with the plastic bag, she shoots you the cutest little grin and scrunchy eyes which melts your heart and you seem to forget the plastic bag at the moment. I have determined that children learn these faces as a means of distraction so they can accomplish their goal of destructive sneaky behaviors. I am glad that God has blessed them with this skill and will welcome these cute little facial expressions while she throws her yogurt all over the wall and table for the tenth time. They melt me. True love rests in those faces.

She is also becoming a little stair master. At times she gets a little energy spurt, usually fueled by daddy teasing her, and will quickly bound up a few steps in a blink of an eye. She goes up on her own with one of us closely behind.

She also LOVES swings, her wagon and riding in the shopping cart....and without enough of a conversation....will throw a tantrum when she has to get out. Of course, the more people to witness the louder the tantrum. Fun.

We are getting ready for her first birthday party. Her birthmother and birthsister will be joining us and we are super excited. We were hoping her adoption would be final but its not. More than anything it's just annoying that we are still waiting to finalize. Apparently we are just waiting for the court to set a date...but I have a feeling someone dropped the ball somewhere. Who knows, deep down it really doesn't matter I suppose.

Check back in a few weeks for her party pics!!

Week One - Check

Today completes the first week of my new job. Overall - I'm satisfied. Of course there has been ups and downs but overall I am ending on a positive note. I have overcome my first two classes as an instructor vs my previous role of student. I feel that I can now fine tune some of my basic skills and I know that I will get better and one day I believe I will truly enjoy teaching. There is something ironic about teaching my first college level course to graduate students though. My expectations need to rise much higher with this class since they actually complete the assigned readings! This is of course a good problem but now requires a little reorganization by me. Trial and error will be the game I play this semester. Hopefully by next semester I will have some sort of process!

One little disappointing fact about my new job is that I don't get FMLA until I am there a year. Doing the math means I am not eligible until next August 23rd. We wanted to start the process again in January but now I think we will need to post pone that until March or April. Technically I am off from the end of June until the end of August so we could welcome a baby during that time and then I would get FMLA starting in last August. But.....as everyone knows we have no control about when our next little angel will come home. Therefore postponing the next adoption seems inevitable. The more I think about it the more at peace I am with this little disruption. I KNOW that there is another little angel meant to be ours, I know I have no control over when or who this little one will be, and I know that God will provide. So for now, we all will continue to enjoy and delight in Leahs' abounding love and growth! She is our constant reminder that all will come together and that He will provide.

So what is Leah up to?? She is in the process of destroying my house through exploration and I LOVE it! I love that fact that I have toys to pick up every night and that she is now taunting me when I tell her stay out of the cat food. I love the fact that she tries to hide behind the shear curtains at the patio doors and at some level thinks I can't see her. I love how she gets the biggest smile on her face when I pick her up at the babysitter. I love how the babysitter and her family LOVE her. I love how all of my family can't wait to hold her, play with her and all of them are overflowing with love for her. I love how she is cutting her 4th tooth ( her second top tooth) and you would have no idea. I love how she now likes to cuddle at night before bed and how she likes to point at pictures in her First Words book. Yes...I am painting a perfect picture of her....and that's because she is perfect. You can ask the babysitter and anyone of my family members and they will all agree. So all I have to say is....Thank You God for answering all of my hearts desires and blessing me with this child.

The Tie That Binds Us

Mike is heading out of town this weekend so it is a long weekend of just the kiddo and I. I have been gearing up for my new job which starts on monday. Today I sat down with the person who did the job before me. She is an adoptive mother also. We had so much work to do but our conversation of course led us to adoption. She gets it. She gets it without explanation. She gets it without question and without a blink of an eye. It was a really nice conversation. I'm looking forward to my next chat with her, on adoption, not work! The other cool thing about my new job is that there is another faculty member joining our team who is in the process of adopting 3 from foster care. Wow! Can we just say I was meant to work here!! Another one who gets it! I think I must have a fall cook out one evening. A place where we can talk and vent and just understand. Sounds so welcoming....I better find some invites! I can honestly say I have no idea how it feels to be pregnant or what the journey is like giving birth to your own child. Most say they have no idea what it's like to adopt. It's so nice finding those who know the adoption journey. It's so nice having a conversation where everyone else understands. I'm really looking forward to getting to know these individuals and maybe starting up an informal group. As you know Mike and I are starting to think about number 2. We had a plan but maybe after meeting these individuals its may be different than what we thought. Time will tell!

Infertility

I speak of infertility more on this blog than I do in real life. Actually....most days I do not consider my self infertile which of course is complete nonsense but for some reason I put myself in another category. Not really sure what that category is....I just know I feel like I don't belong in the "infertile" category. Maybe because we never "tried" and we never had to experience all the ups and downs of not becoming pregnant. I guess I feel like we started to play the game and immediately got a "Do Not Pass Go and Go Straight to Jail" card. At the time I didn't fully realize that was the best card in the deck. I was fairly OK with the card...but I did have a few wishful thoughts that never actualized. So why I am talking about infertility then?? I am shamed to admit it was spurred by watching the TV show "Pregnant and .... ". ( Side note...I really need to give up TV....I have done this several times in my life and have been perfectly content...how do I get my husband to realize the same endeavor?) On this show they highlight different women who are pregnant and drug addicted....in jail....have some crazy medical disorder....etc. At this point I should know not to watch. But I did. And after 45 mins of the show I had enough. I turned it off and immediately felt crappy. My crappy attitude lasted a whole 2 minutes. Because then I realized my infertility brought me the cutest, smiling, happy little girl you could ever want. So you know what life....go ahead...hand me the " Do Not Pass Go and Go Straight To Jail" card again. Bring it on....I am ready!!

Race

Yesterday Mike and I went to a local amusement park. I have never been there before and Mike hasn't gone in 15 years. After about an hour we realized that as Caucasian individuals we were in the minority. The predominat race was African American but there was also several other non-white races including Chinese, Mexican, and many biracial individuals. At first I was excited about this discovery. My immediate family unit is diverse and will continue to grow in this manner. We feel that it is important to expose Leah and our future children to diverse populations. I was dreaming of season passes in the future, dreaming of a place where my "children" would feel comfortable, at home, feel a place where they belong in every way. By the time we walked out of the park we were both disappointed and frustrated. As I write this I am still processing the day's events and am in no ways sure how this experience completely effected me.

What were the days events? Well...nothing huge....nothing concrete. I guess you could say more indiscreet minor occurrences which possibly reflected the morals of one group of the population or possibly just a few individuals who disregard the general population as a whole. I will describe in my words how I felt but of course have no idea if this is how the other party wanted me to feel or if the racial environment spurred with the fact that despite my outward appearance ( a white couple) I have a diverse family unit effected these feelings.
At no point did I feel uneasy, awkward or a sense of concern when we realized that we were the minority. We celebrate diversity and look for diverse opportunities for our child (and future children). We were respectful to others, as we always are in any circumstance. Were they respectful to us? No. One 3 different occasions individuals butted in front of us in line. We also witnessed this happening to other people on several occasions. At first response I believed this was related to a complete disregard of the general population by those individuals. After the second time though I felt a little disgruntled about the situation. The line wasn't long, we were the last ones in line, and they walked around us like we were invisible. When we spoke up they began to give us lip but then just mumbled under their breath and I believe some of the comments were racially driven. Something to the effect of it would be ok if we did it to them. ARGH! Really?!? I know that the race issue it still alive...I know that there are many individuals who do judge based on the color of ones skins...I know that suppression still occurs. On some levels I am saddened to think that this probably occurs to the offending individuals more often than it will ever occur to me....but am conflicted by the feelings of a victim. How do you rise above this....how do you teach your children about the complexities of race in our nation....how do you teach your children to overcome when it appears that others are retaliating versus overcoming? How do you respond when you have a 5 year old in tow who knows its not fair but can't begin to understand the underlying issues really going on?

On a second note, would this experience fared better or worse if I was there with my biracial daughter? If we adopt another child of a minority race and we were there as a family of four...2 white , 2 non white....what would the response be? I can't answer that....but I am sure that someday we will get an answer. Life is cumulative and I'm sure we will have lots of experiences to draw upon by the time our children graduate from high school. I can only hope that we can teach ourselves and our children to overcome. I can only hope that my children will figure out how to deal with the racial issues in society and not become bitter. I can only hope they will continue to fight for equality and fight against suppression and regression.

On one more note....please take into account I am still processing my thoughts and feelings regarding this experience. I am in no ways, saying that we were singled out on the color of our skin. Possibly...yes....definitely....no. If you would like to comment , please do....but only a constructive or supportive comment.

Beach Trip

Whats next?

I have a personality which doesn't leave me idle for long. As soon as I accomplish something I am ready to move on to the next project without leaving any down time to relax. At times this mentality leaves me in a lurch and feeling stressed. Despite these experiences (which I do not learn from) I repeat this behavior over and over again. In my defense, I have had lots of wonderful experiences and accomplishments which I can contribute to this behavior...therefore it is all worth it in the end. I now find myself at my resting place...I have opened a door into my dream life and I am standing here thinking....what's next! To me this is quite funny. To my husband...I'm sure he is thinking that I'm quite loony! I do have one big "project" that I am working on...which is my new job. For some reason I do not feel that is enough.

I'm sure many of you know where this is headed. Yes you are right, I would like to add another beating heart into this house. Of course Mike now knows I am loony but as always he just listens and listens. Notice I did not say comment. We have a cycle of communication and it goes like this:
Megan talks, Mike listens, Megan talks, Mike listens, Megan talks, Mike listens...repeat...repeat...repeat ...ok.. Megan talks...Mike comments...Megan talks, Mike comments, options are discussed, decision is made and we move forward.

This works quite well for us...and I think in the end we are both happy. This process can last weeks, months or years, depending on the topic. For instance, I have wanted a treadmill for over three years....it got delivered last week. Mike has a good way of keeping things in check for me.

Back to the beating heart. Yes....we would like to adopt again. So....the process begins...I have researched agencies like I was getting paid. We have lots of options and Mike has been briefed on these options. We may have found the one...whom we are going to have a phone conference with in the next week or so. We have been accepted by them but we need to ask some questions if we want to proceed. It appears that financially this is the best option for us...we just need to finalize the when, what and how portions of the topic to make our complete decision. I would love to fill up this big house with beating hearts but I'm thinking that I can only persuade Mike for one or two more. I haven't shared with him that there are 147 million orphans in this world. I am saving that statistic for the right time.

147 million orphans.... I'm sure we can find room for another beating heart in our home.

Love this Girl!!

Leah continues to make me laugh and smile each day! Here are a few recent pictures!! We got a little pool for the backyard when a few friends were over with their little ones. This week she realized she can bend down and drink the water.....great....and she also figured out you can do this in the tub also! She has learned to fake cough and will go back and forth with you when you cough. She also has started eating teething cookies....and also wearing them all the down the front of her! This week she has decided to scream when going to bed....hopefully that won't be a lasting trait!

Could Life Get Sweeter!!

I know that my last few posts have been pretty mushy and a little over the top with how perfect my life is right now...but it truly is and I very much am grateful. Just when I was sure that life couldn't get any sweeter it has!! Over a month ago I saw a job opening at the local college in their OT Department for a fieldwork coordinator. I thought...what a great opportunity....I should apply. That I did....then I heard nothing for almost a month. I figured I wasn't what they were looking for....until I got a call for an interview! I was so excited...then I became stressed....this is kinda a big thing. I have to interview with the entire department...then the head of 3 departments...and possibly the Dean!! Ugh....queasiness spread over me! Could I work at a college....teach college courses....coordinate the fieldwork program? All unknown territory for me....but oh what an amazing opportunity! A little over a week ago I had my interview which went very well...or at least I thought so. And today I found out they thought so too....they offered me the position!! It's a 10 month position....so I get the summers off....and I also get 15 holidays and 2.5 weeks of vacation....get to be immersed in the college arena....am surrounded by awesome professors....get to work with students whose minds are fresh and potential unlimited. Seriously.....like I said....how can life get any sweeter than this!! So....in August I will start my new position and praise God for being so gracious. I never would have dreamed that I would be here...that I would have my perfect life. Once again.... I.am.thankful.

7 months!

I can't believe that our little angel is 7 months old!!! Her are her latest stats!!

She had her well baby visit on May 5th where she weighed in at 18 lbs and 11 ounces!! She is above the 97% for her weight! She was 26 cm long which is near the 50%. She of course screamed for her shots but calmed down quickly after a little snuggle with mom. The doctor was a little worried about her one hip so he sent us off to get an xray for possible congenital hip dysplasia. We got the xray results back and now are headed to see an orthopedic doc on June 1st for a consultation. Leah shows no pain or physical signs of anything wrong with her hip so we were quite surprised there may be a problem. She loves standing with our help and rolls around the room like a little worm. We are praying that she is ok but as always will deal with whatever life has to hand us.

During her 6th month she started trying to pull herself up into stance while she holds our hands. She is showing more interest in trying to move around but has not figured out how to crawl or scoot yet. She takes her baths in the tub now with just a mat on the bottom. She loves kicking in the water and splashing around like a little fish. She goes after her toys while sitting up in the tub and she is fascinated with the water swirling down the drain. She continues to eat her veggies like a champ and is now starting to like her fruit. Blueberries and prunes seem to be a hit! We tried a sippy cup twice with no real interest in actually drinking from it. She continues to have the best personality and is much quicker to warm up to new faces. She loves being outside and watching the leaves blow in the wind. She also loves to swing and stand in her exersaucer. She can sit up for a long period of time to play but hasn't figured how to get into sitting herself.

Other news! We are loving our new house and being so close with everyone. We haven't had a weekend without friends and family since we moved here. We spend our nights on the deck...sipping our tea in the dim light of the tiki torches. I couldn't paint a perfect picture. Just us living the all American dream. Our life is full...we are blessed in every way....and we are thankful. So very thankful.

Humbled

Leah is on the verge of turning 7 months! Time seems to be flying by and somedays I'm not sure where the time has gone. We have been in the new house two months and had soo many visitors now that we live close to our friends and family. It is great that everyone can see Leah grow and change...and I can tell she likes seeing everyone. Her stranger anxiety has lessened...thank goodness!

Onto what I wanted to write about. I am humbled. Still. I'm thinking I will be forever. When I look at Leah I am humbled. I'm still in awe that she is my daughter and that I have been given the gift of being her mother. At least once a week my eyes swell with tears as I look down on her and realize that I have everything I could ever want. My life is perfect...in every way....in every moment. How did I get so lucky?
I am humbled by the relationship I have with her birthmother, L. I spoke with her last night and chuckled to myself as I hung up the phone. I felt like I had just had a conversation with someone I have known for years, not just a mere 5 months.
Adoption has humbled me. It has made me look at life differently. It can make me cry with tears of joy and pain all at the same time. The raw emotions of adoption are bold and truthful. They creep in when no one is looking and encompass you..leaving you standing there with tears rolling down your cheeks. In church this weekend, I looked at Leah and almost began crying. I felt the gulp in my throat and had to look away. I pray that every week I continue to have these moments....these crazy moments that rise from somewhere deep down and swallow me up. I am thankful I am humbled. I am thankful that this is my life. I am thankful.

Back to Work

This week I started back to work part time. I wasn't sure what to expect....but I am pleasantly surprised. I enjoy going to work. I like what I do. A small part of my feels that I should feel guilty about it but I don't. Leah has a great time at the babysitter...she is content there...she is happy there. She has such stranger anxiety for so long that it is good she is exposed to other people and can feel comfortable. So really...I think it is good for her. It is good for me. Maybe if things would have been a different I may have been more content being a stay at home mom but that's not how it worked out. Part of me feels that I was a "single" mom for many months while we moved. I think that experience had me looking forward to going back to work. Don't get me wrong...I love every minute I spend with my little angel. BUT.....when you are the only one for 5 days at a time you look forward to a little me time. So even though I am working....I have time to be me and do something I enjoy. That being said I am also glad I am only working part time. I still get my days to be home with Leah. For me, part time is the best of both worlds. I also don't feel guilty because she is 6 months old....and most working moms return to work at 3 months...so I feel she is ready for this. Plus if Leah ever wants a sibling I better get back to work and make some dough!

This weekend we are having a housewarming party for our friends! I am busy baking and cooking all day and getting things in order. Check back for pictures next week!

Here is the little cutie with her classic "smile"!

New Skills

Apparently Leah likes to learn new skills within two days and then she is done for awhile. Since she started cutting her two bottom teeth she has learned to sit up...hold her bottle...roll from belly to back and now she has decided she would like to stand to play. She is quite amazing and continues to make my heart smile!!

First, First, First!! A Big 5th Month!

Can you believe that little Leah will be hitting 6 months in just over a week! This month has gone fast with the move but we couldn't be happier! Life is now perfect and each day seems a little sweeter. This has been a big month for all of us and it has brought a lot of firsts for Leah. This month she started on rice cereal which she wasn't fond of in the least bit. After a week of uncertainty she came down with her first cold and fever just in time for Easter. Once she was feeling better....which was only a few short days....we tried cereal and added sweet potatoes to the mix and she started to get the hang of it! Now she will eat peas, sweet potatoes, squash, rice cereal. On her "dislike" list is applesauce! I think it is a little too tart for her liking! She still takes 5 bottles a day but with less amounts. She also started napping for two hour time lengths, twice a day! I love that and feel I can actually get something done during her naps. She likes to have a snuggly blanket with her during those naps and yes...I let her have it. Also this month she finally figured out how to roll from tummy to back but still needs a little encouragement from something to do so. She is just such a content little girl that moving around isn't her top priority. She loves to sit up and is getting better balance each day. She continues to be very inquisitive and everyone comments on that. Well, that and all of her hair! More ringlets are forming and they are cuter than ever! She likes to pull at her hair when shes tired and will do that at nap time. I'm surprised she hasn't started pulling it out yet! She is also getting her first tooth! You can see the tooth pushing through the bottom gum and feel the hard surface. She actually doesn't seem bothered by it....which is just her style. She is chewing on her thumb and just about everything else so I know she feels it. She continues to have stranger anxiety but seems to get over it some once she is around you for awhile. In time this will all end...and all the visitors are ready for that. I can't believe how much she has changed since moving from Pittsburgh. My love and amazement grow for this little girl everyday. She is truly amazing!! Here are some pictures from the last month!