Waiting

Here are a few things keeping us busy while we wait. I am glad we have been busy this wait is feeling like the longest pregnancy ever...and I'm not even pregnant!

Hmmm?? Mike and Josh at St. Pattys Day Parade.

St. Patricks Day Parade on Mike's 30th Birthday!

My new shoes.

A bag I made that ties onto the crib. A little monkey found his way into the bag for the time being!

Fireworks at KennyWood Amusement Park.

End of the day watching the fireworks....we are exhausted at this point!

Before this current match I would have said that waiting was easy. I liked being ignorant that maybe someone was considering us to parent their child. Now though....the waiting is hard. I feel the weight on my shoulders get a little heavier each day. There has been a snag with this current situation which sometimes feels like an anchor which is keeping us grounded where we are. The birthfather is in the picture now more than before and he isn't sure what he wants to do...despite that he signed the paperwork. Hence you understand the wait on our shoulders. Once again...I have no control...and someone else is in control. I am ok with that.....I just would like to know one way or another. I would feel better if I knew that the birthfater could successfully parent...but he is not in the right place at this moment. I am frustrated, sad, trying to be optimistic, and slightly hopeful. I am trying to reflect on my life and figure out how I will handle things if this collapses right before the holidays. At times thinking about it I am saddened. But I do know I am blessed in many many ways. Those things and those people will help me through this and reinforce that I am blessed. We will be parents...when the time comes...and it still may be to this little boy. Only time will tell.