Christmas Tree....Boxes.....& Baby Stuff

I should be working on my house....as there are lots of things that need done but I needed a small break. I spent a few hours washing clothes and trying to organize the nursery. I will hopefully get that done later so I can spend tomorrow packing more boxes and trying to get the house ready to show. At times I stand in the middle of a room...looking around at all the craziness and I feel this swell of overwhelming emotion and I think.....how are we going to get through this? Then Mike looks at me and says...."It'll be fine." What a calm sense of reassurance he is right now! Love it! I'm not complaining by any means...I just know this is going to be tough at times....but so worth it. Once I get all the rooms together I will post a few pictures of the nursery and tree. We debated about putting up a tree since we are trying to sell the house....but our little angel needs a tree for her first Christmas.

I am so anxious to meet our little angel. Her foster mom is great and sends text pictures to us so we can see her chubby cheeks. She is already sleeping through the night...and is just a "doll" according to her. I am so looking forward to holding her.....cuddling with her...kissing those chubby cheeks I can hardly stand it. A few more days with lots to do should pass time quickly.

Wish 2

Not that long ago I wrote about wish one coming true...Mike getting the promotion and now moving across state to live near our family. Well.....I jinxed myself when I said that I couldn't think of anything better than moving and getting a baby at the same time....because we are bringing home our daughter next week!!! Needless to say it has been a whirlwind of events this past week and a half. I unfortunately don't have a lot of time to sit down and write out the whole journey as we are packing and setting up a nursery at the same time. For purposes of my short lived memory I have included a timeline of the past few weeks. I will try to deligiently keep up on blogging...but I am also very realistic that all of this new activity will keep my time limited. We are feeling blessed in so many ways and are very grateful that God as filled our aching hearts.

Timeline:

Nov 11 - hear about a situation from our social worker about a baby born in October

Nov 12 - Mike interviews for promotion

Nov 13 - tell social worker that we want to be shown for situation

Nov 18 - get "the call" about being chosen by the birthmother; learn it is a baby girl

Nov 19th - Mike officially gets the job offer

Nov 25th - meet with birthmother...everything goes great and she asks us to parent her baby, we get pictures of her to surprise our family

Nov 25/26th- our family gets the surprise of its newest addition

Next week :

Dec 1st - meet our baby girl

Dec 2nd - placement day at the agency

I will post a picture after she is home. Each time I look at her picture I fall more in love and can't believe this happening! More to come!

Packing

Mike and I have been busy packing up our house and getting it ready to sell. We have taken down any excess clutter and gotten rid of all personalized pictures....trying to make our house into a very neutral space for a future owner. I love pictures so wrapping them up and putting them in a box is kinda sad....but I will be very excited when I get to pull them out again...in the new house! We also touched up some painting and have begun a thorough cleaning of the house top to bottom. Hopefully by Wednesday we will have everything ready and maybe a "for sale" sign in the front yard. It is good to have a project to dive into and keep me busy. I needed this....in so many ways. My family and friends are so excited to have us nearby again. My friends here are sad...and trying diligently to veto the move. The girls on my soccer team want to find a tournament near our new home so they can come visit...and they want me to buy a big house so they can have a sleep over! I am sad to say goodbye to all of my coworkers..and I have a lot since I self contract out to 8+ therapy departments. Mike is excited about his new position and so ready for a change. He is looking forward to a "9-5" job without the on-call weekends and nights.

Still waiting on the adoption front. I hear they are still busy....

"The Call"

Every adoption journey has a point when they receive the call. Tonight was our night!!!! 6:18pm....the phone rings as I am putting laundry in the washer...Mike looks at the phone and calls out my name....Megan...and we just look at each other because I know who it is by just looking at his face. Let me go back and tell you that on the 11th our social worker had called and told us about a baby who was born in October and asked if we wanted to be presented. After some discussion we said yes. I believe my exact words were " God will decide". Since we have started our adoption journey I have become much more strong in my faith...truly seeing that adoption is a miracle and a gift that I cannot comprehend at times. Knowing that a family can be built on the foundation of a difficult situation is truly a miracle. So....when our social worker called tonight...we had a strong feeling we knew why she was calling. We were right....we were picked!! The birth mother had picked us and is very excited about meeting us. We were both speechless as tears formed in our eyes. We have to wait until Wednesday to meet as she can only meet a few days a week and our social worker is out one of those days. We are both shocked...Mike is speechless laying on the couch covering his eyes which are filled with tears....my mind is racing a million miles a minute. The next few weeks are going to be wonderful, crazy, stressful, joyous. Words cannot explain how I am feeling....all the pain...all the frustration...it all makes sense. The heartache from our last match and the reason behind our last match....God has explained it all. He has given more than He has taken away. I am amazed. I am humbled. I am thankful. And now....I am going to be up all night in celebration!

Wish One!

Wish one has come true....Mike got the job!! I am patiently waiting (still!) to hear the details as he is still at work. I am super excited to move back "home" and be near family. This is a huge opportunity for Mike and I am so excited for him. This job will give him lots of exposure to the VPs of the company which is awesome for his future endeavors. Now....time to put the house up for sale and find a new one....four hours away!! And of course...we continue praying for "our" baby to find their way home. I guess I better get scrubbing the house....get it ready for a future owner!

Starting Line

We are currently standing at the starting line waiting to take off and begin this race. Mike went for his interview this past week and we are patiently (yeah right) waiting to hear what the result is. We also have heard a few snippets from the adoption agency...but my lips are sealed on that topic. Nobody has picked us....they are just busy...which I knew before...but I know that more now. So...here we stand...on the starting line....wondering if we could be so lucky to get a baby and have to move in the same week. Sounds crazy but I couldn't dream of anything better! I am off now to coach a soccer tournament out of state....something to keep my busy for the day.

Trying to Turn Over a New Leaf

The last few entries I have written about my sour mood. Of course I would love to think that every bit of this process has been a breeze without any bumps in the road but it has not been that way. I want to look back in ten years and remember the good moments and the less joyful moments. I want my child to know the journey we took to find them....good and bad...when they are old enough. So yes...October sucked....BUT...it happened for a reason. I know when I meet my child I will understand. I will understand that I was supposed to be a parent to them...not L's baby. I am much closer to getting out of my funk. Not that anything has changed...just that I am healing from the trials and tribulations from this past month. I know in time all will make sense. Our child is out there....waiting for us...as we are waiting for them. When we meet, it will be a wonderful day. Until then....it is off to focus on something other than the adoption right now.

While reading another blog I came across this quote:

"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." -M. Scott Peck

Here's to different ways!

A Rough Weekend

I need to get through this funk. I thought I was until friday...when the time hit me again. Our social worker has emailed us telling us they are busy. Not really what I want to hear because my phone is still not ringing. They can be working with 20 e-moms and we could still not be chosen. So there it is....I don't want to hear about how busy they are. I don't want to feel like the un-chosen. The ones they didn't want. Don't get me wrong - I know we will be the chosen ones in time. I am so thankful to follow others adoption journeys through blogs...I know I am not the only ones with these feelings. The past month has been the hardest month of this journey. Really...one bad month out of 18 months is really not that bad.

Onto other news. There was a potential opportunity for Mike to interview near our hometown....which we were very excited about...but after much discussion after a few long weeks...we found out they are not going to fill the position again. So....along with the bubble bursting on the adoption...we also had the disappointment of not being able to move closer to our family. BUT....he is now considering a possible job in the corporate office....which is also closer to our family. Cross your fingers...I could use some family near by right now.

So there you have it. Adoption stress + failed job opportunity = Megan's funk.
Baby + a promotion for Mike = Goodbye Funk!!

Say some prayers for my funk eliminators! :-)