Impostor

Every time I go to Bab.ies R Us I feel like an impostor. Each time I check out the cashier asks if my purchase is off a registry ... and when I say no...they proceed to ask if I need a gift receipt. It's makes me feel awkward...like I couldn't possibly be buying the items for my child. Sometimes I want to gleefully shout..."I'm adopting and the expectant mother is 8 months pregnant".... sometimes I just want to run from the store. In truth....I'm sure I'm being sensitive....but sometimes I wish someone looked at me and knew I was "expecting" without me having to explain the whole situation.

I am anxiously counting the days till L's due date. Our to-do list is getting shorter each day as we work diligently on our tasks. We are working on setting a date to complete our cooperative agreement with L. I am still amazed everything is on track....and I am so thankful.

I am having a hard time comprehending what the little guys birthday will be like. I am anxious....afraid....hopeful....saddened...and overjoyed....all at the same time. On one hand I am overjoyed that L has the strength and courage to make our dreams come true. At the same time I am sad for her. I cant imagine the pain it will cause her to let go of her little boy. I am currently in the process of writing her a letter to explain how I thankful I am. It is the hardest thing I have ever tried to sit down and write. How do you thank someone for letting you raise their baby....for helping you build your family....for giving you your son? This process has been long....some parts have been easier than others...but it is truly an amazing journey.