We haven't heard one iota regarding the baby born last week. No decision has been made so we continue to stand in the land of "limbo". After an entire week of waiting I am much more calm and able to go about my day without it occupying my mind quite as much. That being said, I frequently check the status page just in case a decision has been made, as I want to be able to move on if we aren't chosen.
We have gotten a tremendous amount of things accomplished this week, and for that I am grateful this situation has presented itself. We never would have started on the nursery or finished up those other projects so quickly. The wallpaper is in the process of being ripped down, most of the things are out of the old office/new nursery, the playroom ceiling is painted (the windows, baseboards, and ceiling were yucky brown) and all the baseboards have been ripped out of the nursery and playroom. Landscapers are coming today to fix the flower beds (many are sloped towards the house from too mulch) and lay rock. I am sooo excited for that to be done! As you can see, it has been full steam ahead.
The set back was something I didn't see coming and I never will. On Wednesday I was at my small group for a church program we are doing for Lent. One of the other members had recently had a baby and was discussing her difficult pregnancy which included kidney stones. She didn't mention anything else so I was really surprised when she said, " I would adopt before I ever got pregnant again." She had no idea I was an adoptive parent, though she did know I had a 16 month old. At first I wanted to respond by saying, " Well let me know if you are serious, as I am an adoptive parent and could give you lots of info." But I didn't say anything. Later I thought about it a little more and that's when I really began to struggle with what she had said. I am struggling through this adoption process, just as I did the first time. This process frustrates me beyond anything else going on in my life. Emotionally this is hard, it is hard waiting. Physically, I have lost a few pounds this week (and trust me....I would love to lose a few pounds most weeks but it rarely happens). No...my body isn't morphing as it does in pregnancy...and no...pregnancy is very difficult (and most days I am glad I can't have my own children...ask my best friend as she can vouch for this). BUT....please don't make the judgment that adoption is the easier way to become being a parent. She never has walked in my shoes as I have never walked in hers. I did not judge her pregnancy, nor would I compare her kidney stones to my endless frustration with our social worker. I'm not sure why people think this process is easier. Maybe they think there really is stork who fly's over our house and just plops the baby down in the empty crib. No people...it doesn't work like.
1 comment:
girl, you are so right. Adoption is certainly not the easy way to go. The waiting and lack of control over the situation is hard for anybody to imagine that has not been in the trenches with us! Keep us posted. chris anne
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