Race

Yesterday Mike and I went to a local amusement park. I have never been there before and Mike hasn't gone in 15 years. After about an hour we realized that as Caucasian individuals we were in the minority. The predominat race was African American but there was also several other non-white races including Chinese, Mexican, and many biracial individuals. At first I was excited about this discovery. My immediate family unit is diverse and will continue to grow in this manner. We feel that it is important to expose Leah and our future children to diverse populations. I was dreaming of season passes in the future, dreaming of a place where my "children" would feel comfortable, at home, feel a place where they belong in every way. By the time we walked out of the park we were both disappointed and frustrated. As I write this I am still processing the day's events and am in no ways sure how this experience completely effected me.

What were the days events? Well...nothing huge....nothing concrete. I guess you could say more indiscreet minor occurrences which possibly reflected the morals of one group of the population or possibly just a few individuals who disregard the general population as a whole. I will describe in my words how I felt but of course have no idea if this is how the other party wanted me to feel or if the racial environment spurred with the fact that despite my outward appearance ( a white couple) I have a diverse family unit effected these feelings.
At no point did I feel uneasy, awkward or a sense of concern when we realized that we were the minority. We celebrate diversity and look for diverse opportunities for our child (and future children). We were respectful to others, as we always are in any circumstance. Were they respectful to us? No. One 3 different occasions individuals butted in front of us in line. We also witnessed this happening to other people on several occasions. At first response I believed this was related to a complete disregard of the general population by those individuals. After the second time though I felt a little disgruntled about the situation. The line wasn't long, we were the last ones in line, and they walked around us like we were invisible. When we spoke up they began to give us lip but then just mumbled under their breath and I believe some of the comments were racially driven. Something to the effect of it would be ok if we did it to them. ARGH! Really?!? I know that the race issue it still alive...I know that there are many individuals who do judge based on the color of ones skins...I know that suppression still occurs. On some levels I am saddened to think that this probably occurs to the offending individuals more often than it will ever occur to me....but am conflicted by the feelings of a victim. How do you rise above this....how do you teach your children about the complexities of race in our nation....how do you teach your children to overcome when it appears that others are retaliating versus overcoming? How do you respond when you have a 5 year old in tow who knows its not fair but can't begin to understand the underlying issues really going on?

On a second note, would this experience fared better or worse if I was there with my biracial daughter? If we adopt another child of a minority race and we were there as a family of four...2 white , 2 non white....what would the response be? I can't answer that....but I am sure that someday we will get an answer. Life is cumulative and I'm sure we will have lots of experiences to draw upon by the time our children graduate from high school. I can only hope that we can teach ourselves and our children to overcome. I can only hope that my children will figure out how to deal with the racial issues in society and not become bitter. I can only hope they will continue to fight for equality and fight against suppression and regression.

On one more note....please take into account I am still processing my thoughts and feelings regarding this experience. I am in no ways, saying that we were singled out on the color of our skin. Possibly...yes....definitely....no. If you would like to comment , please do....but only a constructive or supportive comment.