When we sent in our application I imagined this process taking 6+ months to complete the paperwork and homestudy. BUT.....we will we done and "waiting" next week!!!! I can't believe it!!! Now....who knows when our child will come home...but we will be WAITING!!!! Everything has been going smoothly and Mike and I are learning lots in our classes. Last week we discussed the risks one takes in adoption...from birthfamilies lifestyles...to legal risks...to medical issues. I was anxious for this class to occur because I wanted to know all about prenatal drug exposure....unknown birthfather issues....mental health history. I figured the more I know the better decisions I could make....and that is true. The biggest lesson I am learning though...is about who I am as a person....what my values are...what I believe in. I tend to be open-minded and non-judgemental. I also tend to be spiritual but not specifically religious. As these risks were presented and reviewed in class I realized that these traits were going to help me through this process and will help me accept my child for who they are and where they came from. Often it is hard accepting those who are different from us and choose to lead different lifestyles. It is hard for us to understand why one doesn't stay on the medicine that treats their mental health issue...why one can't just stop using drugs...why one doesn't practice safe sex when they are getting a academic scholarship to a good college. But do we always make the right decisions...do we not make mistakes too?? What I have learned about myself this past week is that I am not perfect and I cannot expect the birthmother of my child to be perfect. Life is complicated and I am no one to judge anothers choices and decisions. I am learning that even though I have had tough times I have wonderful people in my life whom were able to help me through those tough times and that I am very fortunate. My focus has switched to learning to accept who my child's birthparents will be despite the large chance that they will lead very different lifestyles than me. Realizing all of this I have learned that you have to just jump and hope you land on something soft...that you have to believe that something greater than you is there to protect you. My faith makes me believe that whatever situation I am given was meant for me and that I can handle it. I challenge everyone in my life to think about what they believe in and what their values are. Hopefully in the near future you will have a new family member...I hope everyone can accept where they came from....without judgement.
On a side note: Everyone I talk to about adoption states the following phrase at least once during the conversation: "Adoption is a roller coaster...but it is worth it." This summer I went to Hersheypark....I loved the roller coaster!!
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